Use your words carefully

Been a while since an update, because sickness. First hubby then LO then me, all within the course of a week and a half. It pretty much sucked.

But now we're all better. At least for now. And I can once again appreciate the amusing things in life. For example, hubby bought new diapers, and here is the conversation that ensued.

Me: Oh, these have Pooh on them.
Him: WHAT??
Me: *realizing what I just said* Sorry! WINNIE the Pooh!
Him: Ok, good. I thought these were used diapers for a second.

Haha, oops.

Raising smart kids

Late again, of course, but it's because I was sick yesterday. I probably caught whatever ick my husband had last week. Anyway...

I was talking to a coworker who has two elementary-school-aged boys earlier this week.  Evidently his eldest is smart but lazy (gee that sounds familiar -- this doesn't describe me as a kid, but it does describe my husband, brother, and most smart boys I knew). He had homework over Thanksgiving break, and every time his parents asked him about it, he said he'd do it the Sunday night before it was due. Lo and behold, when his father checked his grades, he had received a 69. Confronted about it, the kid said he didn't understand some of the questions. His dad asked him why he didn't ask for help, and the son's response was that he didn't think about it (probably because he didn't have the time).

So the son was punished. But the father made it clear that he was not being punished for receiving a D, but because he had not prepared. This is where things get tricky -- if you try your best and still get a D, well, ok. Maybe theoretical physics (or in my case, geometry) isn't your thing. You shouldn't be punished for trying your best, especially since in the long run, grades don't matter all that much. But I really like the fact that this father is trying to instill in his son the value of hard work and planning ahead, especially when he's young enough that schoolwork is really just for practice at this point. (The father, by the way, has a PhD in civil engineering. So he knows what hard work means.) This is a father to learn from.

Hail single parents!

Yesterday hubby was sick so I played single parent. It was EXHAUSTING. I've said it before, but I really admire single parents. It's not twice as hard, it's ten times as hard when you are in it all by yourself.

A month ago, I don't think it would have been so bad, as LO could be left in one place and I could do other things with him in my periphery, but now that he's moving a lot, I basically can get nothing done when he's awake. During nap time, I did dishes and laundry. But preparing food for the week? Vacuuming? Having half an hour to myself to update this blog? Nope, nope, and big fat nope.

I was in bed by 8pm. I definitely could not do this every day. So hail single parents.

There is something magical about parenthood

I know that sounds cliche, but I am constantly amazed by the things I can do now, that I didn't think I could do before.

For example, I can randomly recall the lyrics to songs I haven't heard in decades. This weekend alone, I found myself singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and "Puff the Magic Dragon" (first two verses, anyway) just out of the blue to the little one before bed time. Where the heck did these words come from?? I had not looked up the songs, and I didn't even think I remembered the titles. It was kind of amazing.

(Also, if these random facts were hiding somewhere in the crevices of my brain, what important things have I've forgotten to make room for that randomness?)

Originally sent to Scary Mommy, was not accepted

While I was off work, I sent several pieces to Scary Mommy, and none of them were accepted. I was annoyed at first, but the more I read of them, the more I realized that this publication has WAY too much content, and as a result, doesn't have great quality. Some articles in fact are just plain wrong. So I don't care anymore.

However, I still do want to share my thoughts, so I will repost one submission here. I'm no longer breastfeeding, but when I was, I was super self-conscious about doing so in public, and swore I never would. But things didn't quite work out that way. Here's why...

Before my son was born, I vowed to breastfeed him exclusively if I could, though I didn’t want to breastfeed him in public. It’s not that I was particularly ashamed of my breasts, but I didn’t want people to stare, and I know how judgy society can be. There shouldn’t be a stigma against public breastfeeding, but there is, and I would rather have done my errands without getting into a confrontation. Avoiding breastfeeding in public, I thought, would have been the simplest way to accomplish this.
However, after I had my son, this proved more difficult than I thought, and I eventually just thought, eh, screw it, I’m feeding him. If people have issues, that’s their problem. But it took me awhile to come to this realization. Here are the steps that led me there.

1. I don’t want to breastfeed outside of my own house. That’s ok, though,  I can just order everything we need online.
2. No, there are some things we need to go out for. I’ll send the husband.
3. Aaagh, what was I thinking? I’m going crazy. I need to get out of the house. Alright, I’ll plan to go out IMMEDIATELY after the baby has eaten, so he won’t need to eat while we’re out.
4. Ok, so that doesn’t work. He’s off his schedule. ABANDON SHIP! I need to get this kid home STAT and feed him.
5. Well, we still need stuff. So I’ll leave the baby home with husband, who can feed him expressed breast milk while I run errands.
6. Ok, so now I need to pump because otherwise my breasts will explode. I’m going to be really obnoxious and lock myself in the Starbucks bathroom for 15 minutes. Sorry, everyone. Except not really. Crap, where do I store it?
7. Ok, fine, I’ll bring the baby with me. I’ll just give him a bottle.
8. Nope, still need to pump. I can’t pump and feed him at the same time. Ow ow ow.
9. Ok, let’s try this again. Let me just check ahead of time to see if the place has a “family room” where I can feed him in private.
10. No family room? Do you at least have a corner where I can cover both of us up so it looks like someone just left a pile of stuff behind?
11. Well, this is even more awkward. And hot. Maybe I’ll just cover the baby. That’s cool, right? People will just ignore me.
12. Oh god, everyone is staring. And he’s not eating now because he wants to maintain eye contact with me. Hurry up and eat, kid! I want to leave with some of my dignity intact!
13. Alright, screw it, let’s take this blanket off you. If my nipple pops out of your mouth, I’ll just hide it quickly with a burp cloth or something.
14. Aaaaaaaaaand there’s my nipple. Hello, world!
15. Screw it. I’m done. Do you strangers with your mouths agape know how annoying this process is? If you don’t like it, you can leave.

To be clear, I never had an issue with other women breastfeeding in public; I just thought it wasn’t for me. It’s still not, but we do what we have to. I have learned, though, that it’s much easier to deal with a few side-eyes from judgy strangers and have a happy, well-fed baby, than it is to deal with a hungry, screaming infant. People would judge me for that, too, so it’s really a no-win situation. Welcome to motherhood!

Things I say now that are totally normal

Is that my snot or his?

Ooops, missed a week

My goal was to update every Sunday. I have already failed.

But that's fine, I'm beholden to no one but myself.

Good and bad things this weekend. On a good note, LO is sitting up! He still face plants and falls backwards but it's a start.

He also started teething. That's.... fun.

As for the bad, LO had croup again for the second time since he's been born. It sounds terrible -- barking cough, can hear him breathing, it's difficult for him to cry/coo, and apparently he had a severe case of it. Husband took him to the pediatrician, who said he should do a breathing treatment which they don't offer, so transferred him to the ER. ... Say what now? If it had been me taking him to the doctor, I would have FREAKED OUT. But it ended up being fine. He'll go back to day care tomorrow.

Everyday I am grateful that I have a partner. It would be incredibly difficult to do this on my own. We were both exhausted yesterday because of sick baby and just baby brain in general, and I said to him that it's a good thing LO has both of us, because there is a whole brain between us. How do single parents do it?

Needs vs. wants for baby (aka maybe helpful advice for the overwhelming task that is registering)

I've been meaning to do this for a while as a way to keep track of which items on or off my registry are (so far) most useful for when the baby actually comes. I know there are lists like this everywhere, and of course everyone is different, but here are my two cents about useful and non-useful things. This will be broken down into three categories: What I had on my list that was indeed useful; What I didn't have on my list that I should have; What I had on my list that I have not used yet. I'm just listing five or six things for each category, otherwise this could go on forever. So obviously this isn't an exhaustive list.

What I had on my list that was useful:

1. Carseat/stroller combo
This one is pretty obvious, as you must have a carseat (if you have a car), and chances are you will want a stroller as well, unless you plan to exclusively babywear, but I would think you would get very tired of that quickly.  We opted for the Safety First because it was light weight and durable, but probably mostly anything would do.

2. Pack & play
If you travel anywhere with a baby, it's useful to have a crib-type-thing for him/her to sleep in since not all babies sleep well in a carrier. We selected the Graco pack & play with reversible napper & changer, and have not yet used the changer but it has been useful nonetheless. We used it the first time in our own house -- we had exterminators come and since the baby's room was too hot to sleep in the night after, we set him up in the living room with the pack and play. It worked like a charm.

3. Highchair
Again, this one seems obvious. Baby will need a place to eat when he gets older, and even though you won't use it right away, it helps to have it handy for when baby starts solids (which, for us, happened sooner than we thought, so it was a good thing to have handy.) Again we went with Graco SwiftFold since it was foldable and could serve the baby for a while. I don't care for how difficult the straps are, but other than that I like it.

4. Play mat (aka activity gym)
This was soooo great when baby starting doing more than eating and sleeping. I could leave him on the mat (within my view, of course) and prepare coffee/breakfast without constantly holding him. It helped him practice tummy time, gave him things to grab, and kept him entertained and me sane. We went with the Skip Hop activity gym, which was nice because the things to grab had different textures and sounds to keep baby interested.

5. Swaddle Blankets
I was so confused while doing research what the hell the difference was between receiving blankets and swaddle blankets. I wasn't sure which one to register for. Answer: swaddle blankets are much bigger. Go with these. I highly recommend (as does everyone else) Anais & Aden blankets, which are more expensive than any other blankets I've seen, but so worth it. They are quite large, super soft, and you will use them all the time.

6. Tub
I was going back and forth about whether to register for a tub. Baby can take a bath in the sink, right? But having a tub was extremely useful, especially when we had a bunch of dirty dishes we didn't have time to clean. Originally we had the Fisher Price tub, but then the sling broke (user error), so we opted for the First Years tub. Both were fine.


What I didn't have on my list that I should have:

1. Extra car seat base
We had two cars but didn't register for an extra car seat base. I forget why now; it made sense at the time. I ended up buying one later, because duh. Of course, make sure the base you buy is compatible with the car seat you have. It's so much easier to have a base already installed than move it from car to car.

2. Bumpo seat
Just like the activity gym, this has proved useful for entertaining baby while keeping hands free. We bought the one with the removable booster, which comes with a tray, so hopefully it will fit him for a while. And the tray is nice because it can serve as a chair to eat from when we can't bring his highchair with us.

3. Wubba nub
I saw these online and thought they were kind of dumb. Why does a baby need a stuffed animal attached to his pacifier? But they're actually pretty useful, because it keeps baby's hands busy at the same time.

4. Chewbeads
Likewise for chewbeads. I couldn't see the point, but now that baby chews ON EVERYTHING, they come in super useful when he is in my arms and I can wear it, or I can just and him the beads and they go straight into his mouth. Sometimes for almost an hour. It's great.

5. Rectal thermometer
Didn't think I would need one because we have a thermometer that can go under his arm, and I thought a rectal thermometer would be uncomfortable. But we purchased Vicks and it was a good decision. It's so much faster to take a temperature with and it doesn't seem to bother him.


What I had on the list that I didn't need

1. Red hot bath ducky
This thing was dumb. It didn't work; it just always said hot. I suppose he can use it as a bath toy; but it's useless as a thermometer.

2. Cheater swaddle blanket
I registered for this because I was apprehensive about getting the swaddling right. These supposedly make it fool-proof, but I found them more difficult to use. Plus, they are one size and he grew out of them pretty quickly.

3. Nursing cover
Never used it. I tried not to nurse him in public if at all possible (I'm not counting friends'/family's houses), but when I did, a blanket would suffice. Don't waste your money.

4. Receiving blankets
See swaddle blankets above. These are not as big as swaddle blankets; we ended up using them as burpcloths. So not completely useless, but they were way to small for much of anything else.

5. Newborn size clothing
Technically I didn't register for clothing, but people give you baby clothes anyway. These lasted about a day. He wasn't even big when he was born -- less than 6 pounds -- and we didn't go through all of the newborn clothing we had.

P.S. We got some things as hand me downs (or bought ourselves) that were also incredibly useful. Namely:

1. Swing
When he was teeny tiny, this was a great sleep aid. Now that he's bigger, he still likes hanging out in it, but it doesn't lull him to sleep. Still a lifesaver for the first three to four months though; sometimes it's the only thing that worked to keep him asleep (and keep me sane).

2. Baby carrier
I was given a Moby wrap, which didn't work for me since I found it way too complicated. But I exchanged it for the ErgoBaby, which gave me much more back support and which I found easier to use. This was great for when baby was fussy and wanted to be held, but I wanted to do stuff. Also useful for quick trips outside when you don't want to lug the stroller.

3. Changing pad
We were not planning to buy a changing table because we didn't have space for it. Instead, we got a hand me down dresser and bought a changing pad to go on top of it. Very useful and necessary.  Of course, you need covers to go on top of it, but that's not really a problem.

4. Crib
Obvi. We bought a cheap one at Ikea that transitions into a toddler bed, but to each their own.

5. Rocker
My mom wanted to get us a big ticket item for the nursery, so we asked for a rocker with ottoman. This was great for rocking baby to sleep and nursing. I found the ottoman necessary for comfort as it was strange to not put my feet up while I was rocking/nursing him, especially as he got bigger and holding him securely got a little more difficult.

Ok, phew, that took a while. Registering for baby items can be overwhelming. Obviously, I wish I knew a lot of this before we registered, but experimenting as you go is actually great practice for raising the baby!

Wow I'm actually writing

I have done a terrible job of keeping up this blog, but that's not really a surprise, as my priorities right now are:
1. Baby
2. Husband
3. Keeping my job
4. Keeping my sanity
5. Dog
6. Keeping the house clean so we don't die of dysentery












.....somewhere down here: Keep this blog updated.

So yeah, there won't be a lot of updates. But I will try.


Oh and P.S.: LO had hand-foot-and-mouth so of course now I have it too. Ah motherhood.

More misadventures in mothering

LO has croup, but doesn't seem "sick." He's not acting any differently but can't go to daycare because it's contagious. Doc says it's like laryngitis -- you feel fine but you still have a virus. C'est la vie, I guess.

Also, apparently it is now acceptable to spend the afternoon wearing nothing but a towel, because you did not have time to get dressed after getting out of the shower since you have to deal with another person's bodily functions before taking care of your own, even though wet hair is draping your face and you would really like to put some clothes on like a normal human. And as soon as you get out of the shower, you kind of feel like you need another one, since you have to clean up human excrement and then get spit up on.

But that's fine -- this is the new normal now.

New legitimate excuse for being late for work

I'm late because I had to clean baby urine off my watch.

#newbornproblems