Use your words carefully

Been a while since an update, because sickness. First hubby then LO then me, all within the course of a week and a half. It pretty much sucked.

But now we're all better. At least for now. And I can once again appreciate the amusing things in life. For example, hubby bought new diapers, and here is the conversation that ensued.

Me: Oh, these have Pooh on them.
Him: WHAT??
Me: *realizing what I just said* Sorry! WINNIE the Pooh!
Him: Ok, good. I thought these were used diapers for a second.

Haha, oops.

Raising smart kids

Late again, of course, but it's because I was sick yesterday. I probably caught whatever ick my husband had last week. Anyway...

I was talking to a coworker who has two elementary-school-aged boys earlier this week.  Evidently his eldest is smart but lazy (gee that sounds familiar -- this doesn't describe me as a kid, but it does describe my husband, brother, and most smart boys I knew). He had homework over Thanksgiving break, and every time his parents asked him about it, he said he'd do it the Sunday night before it was due. Lo and behold, when his father checked his grades, he had received a 69. Confronted about it, the kid said he didn't understand some of the questions. His dad asked him why he didn't ask for help, and the son's response was that he didn't think about it (probably because he didn't have the time).

So the son was punished. But the father made it clear that he was not being punished for receiving a D, but because he had not prepared. This is where things get tricky -- if you try your best and still get a D, well, ok. Maybe theoretical physics (or in my case, geometry) isn't your thing. You shouldn't be punished for trying your best, especially since in the long run, grades don't matter all that much. But I really like the fact that this father is trying to instill in his son the value of hard work and planning ahead, especially when he's young enough that schoolwork is really just for practice at this point. (The father, by the way, has a PhD in civil engineering. So he knows what hard work means.) This is a father to learn from.

Hail single parents!

Yesterday hubby was sick so I played single parent. It was EXHAUSTING. I've said it before, but I really admire single parents. It's not twice as hard, it's ten times as hard when you are in it all by yourself.

A month ago, I don't think it would have been so bad, as LO could be left in one place and I could do other things with him in my periphery, but now that he's moving a lot, I basically can get nothing done when he's awake. During nap time, I did dishes and laundry. But preparing food for the week? Vacuuming? Having half an hour to myself to update this blog? Nope, nope, and big fat nope.

I was in bed by 8pm. I definitely could not do this every day. So hail single parents.

There is something magical about parenthood

I know that sounds cliche, but I am constantly amazed by the things I can do now, that I didn't think I could do before.

For example, I can randomly recall the lyrics to songs I haven't heard in decades. This weekend alone, I found myself singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and "Puff the Magic Dragon" (first two verses, anyway) just out of the blue to the little one before bed time. Where the heck did these words come from?? I had not looked up the songs, and I didn't even think I remembered the titles. It was kind of amazing.

(Also, if these random facts were hiding somewhere in the crevices of my brain, what important things have I've forgotten to make room for that randomness?)

Originally sent to Scary Mommy, was not accepted

While I was off work, I sent several pieces to Scary Mommy, and none of them were accepted. I was annoyed at first, but the more I read of them, the more I realized that this publication has WAY too much content, and as a result, doesn't have great quality. Some articles in fact are just plain wrong. So I don't care anymore.

However, I still do want to share my thoughts, so I will repost one submission here. I'm no longer breastfeeding, but when I was, I was super self-conscious about doing so in public, and swore I never would. But things didn't quite work out that way. Here's why...

Before my son was born, I vowed to breastfeed him exclusively if I could, though I didn’t want to breastfeed him in public. It’s not that I was particularly ashamed of my breasts, but I didn’t want people to stare, and I know how judgy society can be. There shouldn’t be a stigma against public breastfeeding, but there is, and I would rather have done my errands without getting into a confrontation. Avoiding breastfeeding in public, I thought, would have been the simplest way to accomplish this.
However, after I had my son, this proved more difficult than I thought, and I eventually just thought, eh, screw it, I’m feeding him. If people have issues, that’s their problem. But it took me awhile to come to this realization. Here are the steps that led me there.

1. I don’t want to breastfeed outside of my own house. That’s ok, though,  I can just order everything we need online.
2. No, there are some things we need to go out for. I’ll send the husband.
3. Aaagh, what was I thinking? I’m going crazy. I need to get out of the house. Alright, I’ll plan to go out IMMEDIATELY after the baby has eaten, so he won’t need to eat while we’re out.
4. Ok, so that doesn’t work. He’s off his schedule. ABANDON SHIP! I need to get this kid home STAT and feed him.
5. Well, we still need stuff. So I’ll leave the baby home with husband, who can feed him expressed breast milk while I run errands.
6. Ok, so now I need to pump because otherwise my breasts will explode. I’m going to be really obnoxious and lock myself in the Starbucks bathroom for 15 minutes. Sorry, everyone. Except not really. Crap, where do I store it?
7. Ok, fine, I’ll bring the baby with me. I’ll just give him a bottle.
8. Nope, still need to pump. I can’t pump and feed him at the same time. Ow ow ow.
9. Ok, let’s try this again. Let me just check ahead of time to see if the place has a “family room” where I can feed him in private.
10. No family room? Do you at least have a corner where I can cover both of us up so it looks like someone just left a pile of stuff behind?
11. Well, this is even more awkward. And hot. Maybe I’ll just cover the baby. That’s cool, right? People will just ignore me.
12. Oh god, everyone is staring. And he’s not eating now because he wants to maintain eye contact with me. Hurry up and eat, kid! I want to leave with some of my dignity intact!
13. Alright, screw it, let’s take this blanket off you. If my nipple pops out of your mouth, I’ll just hide it quickly with a burp cloth or something.
14. Aaaaaaaaaand there’s my nipple. Hello, world!
15. Screw it. I’m done. Do you strangers with your mouths agape know how annoying this process is? If you don’t like it, you can leave.

To be clear, I never had an issue with other women breastfeeding in public; I just thought it wasn’t for me. It’s still not, but we do what we have to. I have learned, though, that it’s much easier to deal with a few side-eyes from judgy strangers and have a happy, well-fed baby, than it is to deal with a hungry, screaming infant. People would judge me for that, too, so it’s really a no-win situation. Welcome to motherhood!

Things I say now that are totally normal

Is that my snot or his?